You don’t get what you want... You get what you tolerate.

“Prefer being rejected at your new standard than being accepted at your old one” - Dr. Benjamin Hardy

Last night I was sitting at dinner with my brother from another mother, Scott—beer in hand, laughing like we always do.

Scott’s the kind of guy whose story could be a Netflix doc.

He grew up in poverty, bounced between schools, and lived with different family members while his mom worked multiple jobs just to keep food on the table.

The odds weren’t just stacked against him—they were overwhelming.

And yet, through all the chaos, Scott held onto this unapologetic belief:

That one day, he’d become a television host—like Ryan Seacrest.

To most people we grew up with, that sounded delusional.

But Scott said it like a fact. Even as broke kids in a small Indiana town, he spoke with conviction.

Fast forward to today…

Scott hosts Access Hollywood, World of Dance, the BET Awards, and his own show House Guest—which just won a Webby Award for Best Interview Talk Show.

So last night, before we paid the bill, I asked him:

“How did you do it? How did you create a life that’s so radically different from the one we came from?”

He didn’t flinch.

“I raised my standards.”

The brevity of it stopped me in my tracks.

Because here’s the thing:

In the personal growth world, we’re always told to “create a powerful vision.”

Set bigger goals.

Get clear.

Visualize the dream life until it feels real.

And look, that’s very important.

But after years in coaching and thousands of hours with clients, I’ve realized:

Most people don’t struggle with setting goals.

They struggle with raising their standards.

You can set all the goals in the world…

But if your standards stay the same, your life will too.

Here’s what I mean:

Want to be healthy?

→ Raise your standards for what you eat and how you rest.

Want to be fit?

→ Stop just “working out” and start training like someone who values their body.

Want to grow your business?

→ Raise your standards for who you spend time with and what you tolerate from yourself. (Procrastination, anyone?)

Goals are what you hope for.

Standards are what you accept.

Harsh truth:

You will never rise to the level of your goals.

You will always fall to the level of your standards.

That was Scott’s lesson.

And it’s the common thread behind every transformation I’ve ever witnessed.

It’s not just about dreaming bigger.

It’s about refusing to live beneath what you know you’re capable of.

So if you’re not getting the results you want…

Don’t just look at your goals.

Look at your minimums.

The things you tolerate.

The corners you cut.

The behaviors you justify.

The “it’s fine for now” decisions.

Your standards are already shaping your life.

The only question is: are they creating the life you actually want?

If you want to experience real transformation—in your health, your relationships, your business…

Don’t just set better goals.

Raise your minimum standards.

So tell me:

What’s one area of your life where it’s time to raise your standards?

Your teammate,

Matthew

If you’re ready to take the next step, here are two ways I can support you:

1. 🎧 Listen to The Successful Solopreneur Podcast

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2. 🗓️ Book a Free Discovery Call

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